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*Some of these quotes (the tv ones especially) may not be word-for-word 'cause these people speak quickly!
**The format for the novels seems a little messed up... You know when you read a book and sometimes two people just keep talking back and forth, so the author doesn't bother mentioning who's saying what anymore, 'cause it's just the two of them? Well, yeah, so when you see the name of the characters quoted before the quote, that's what happened, and I just wanted to make sure you knew who said what.
Angel television series
Illyria: I've nowhere to go. ...My kingdom is long dead...long dead. There's so much I don't understand. I've become...overwhelmed. I'm...unsure of my place.
Wesley: Your place is with the rest of your people--dead and turned to ash.
Illyria: ...Perhaps. But I exist here. I must learn to walk in this world. I'll need your help...Wesley.
Wesley: If I were to help you find your way, you have to learn to change. You musn't kill.
Illyria: You killed the kwahasahn. In defiance of your leader.
Wesley: He murdered the woman I love.
Illyria: ...And that made it just.
Wesley: No... It wasn't just... I'm probably the last man in the world to teach you what's right.
Illyria: But you will... If I abide, you will help me?
Wesley: ...Yes.
Illyria: Because I look like her?
Wesley: ...Yes.
Illyria: ...We cling to what is gone. ...Is there anything in this life but grief?
Wesley: There is love... There is hope...for some. There is hope that you'll find something worthy...that your life will lead you to some joy...that, after everything, you can still be surprised.
Illyria: Is that enough? ...Is that enough to live on?
Angel: The people who don't care about anything could never understand those who do.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer television series
Cordelia: So does looking at guns really make girls wanna have sex?
Xander: Yeah... I guess.
Cordelia: Well, does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
Xander: I'm a guy... Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.
Angelus: (laughs) You can't do it... You can't kill me.
Buffy: ...Give me time.
Everwood television series
Amy: How come you're so smart?
Ephram: I'm not, believe me. If I was, I'd be wearing a warmer jacket right now. ...And I wouldn't be telling you to go back to your boyfriend.
Andy: Well, maybe we could start by talking about the condoms you took from the pharmacy.
Kid: It was a joke.
Andy: Was it? Because...either you were planning one of the biggest water balloon fights in history, or you're beginning to feel curious.
George Lopez television series
Carmen: Dad, it's my room!
George: No, it's my room. They're all my rooms. Technically, you and the little boy are just squatters.
George: Carmen! You are so grounded, coffee will look at you and say, "DAMN!"
George: You'll always have one friend...
Carmen: Thanks, Dad.
George: (laughs) Not me. I don't know what you did in life, but if you end up with me as your only friend... You did something wrong.
Gilmore Girls television series
Lorelai: Well, you know what they say, don't you?
Luke: No, I don't. What do they say?
Lorelai: Never, ever, ever date a guy with a single bed!
Luke: What, why?
Lorelai: Because, it means that there's no room in this life for two people.
Luke: No, it means that there's no room in this bed for two people.
Smallville television series
Clark: Why didn't you ever tell me?
Pete: It's not like I ever really had a chance.
Clark: What makes you think that?
Pete: Because I'm always standing next to you.
Clark: Pete--
Pete: C'mon, Clark, as far as tall shadows go...you're the dark side of the moon.
That 70's Show television series
Jackie: (covers Hyde's eyes from behind) Guess who!
Hyde: It's either Jackie or the cold, clammy hands of Death.
Jackie: Iiiiiiiiiiittttttt'sssss JACKIE!
Hyde: ... Dammit.
Leo: Man, you missed your shift at the photo hut. You'd better have a damn good excuse.
Hyde: I got busted.
Leo: Damn, that's a good excuse.
Red: How was the movie, son?
Eric: It was good.
Red: Oh, yeah? How'd it end?
Eric: I don't remember.
Red: 'Atta boy.
Kitty: Well, I think you should be nice to me. I might be interested in purchasing a mattress...
Red: Kitty, we don't even sell mattre-- Ohhhh...
Fez: I won't dignify that with an answer...because I can't think of one.
Red: I swear, if one more person tells me to shut it--
Kitty: You'll actually shut it?
Fez: Guys, I don't understand. What does "consommate" mean?
Hyde: Uh, it means "to have sex".
Fez: Oh. I have two words for that.
**later in the scene...
Fez: Oof, Eric... I think you just consommated yourself.
Red: Kitty, this is America. We bomb countries that drink tea.
Kitty: Well that's because we drink coffee and stay up all night and wake up cranky so we have to bomb somebody!
Eric: I'm a grown up, now, Dad.
Red: Well... You sure say that an awful lot, so it must be true. Hey, everybody: I'm Mr. Rogers. ...But, wait! I'm not wearing a sweater. ...And I'm about to kick your ass.
Eric: Everything costs money, nowadays. Gas, clothes...fun.
Kelso: Dates! Dates cost money.
Fez: No, Kelso, that is prros-ti-too-shun.
Hyde: Dating is prostitution, man. Only you don't always get what you paid for.
The Simpsons television series
Documentary Man: So... What's the ambition of the day?
Lisa: I've got a petition to bring back the night sky.
DM: Ooh, *the*night*sky*. How'd you think of that one? Look up?
Lisa: Does it make you feel smarter to question people's dreams?
DM: Yes. Does it make you feel smarter to question people's motives?
Lisa: Yes.
DM: Well, alright then. (signs petition)
Third Rock from the Sun television series
Dick: You know, I don't know what came over me. He's a nice guy, and Mary's a nice woman, but the thought of the two of them together just made my blood boil!
Tommy: You wanna know what's crazy? Clark Kent getting jealous because Lois Lane has a crush on Superman, now THAT'S crazy!
Mary: It's been a long day. Why don't you just put your arm around me and let's look up at the stars?
Dick: Ah, yes, the stars. They look like lovers in a celestial embrace.
Mary: Um... Why don't we look at those trees.
Dick: Ah, the trees. They look like lovers, their limbs groping and fondling each other.
Mary: Let's just look at that couple in the window over there.
Dick: Wow...they're going at it like trees.
What I Like About You television series
Valerie: Bye, have fun, be careful!
Holly: Can't do both!
Jeff: M-E. Spells "me". That's worth four points!
Valerie: What are you doing?
Jeff: What? "Me" is a word! Check it in the dictionary, it means "Jeff".
Jeff: It's not whether you win or lose. It's that I won and you lost.
Gary: It's gotta be something masculine.
Jeff: Yeah, something tough.
Gary: But not something involving spiders.
Jeff: Or clowns.
Phone Guy: I have the perfect thing for you two. It involves speed, strength, endurance...maybe a little skating.
Gary: No spiders, right?
Jeff: Or clowns?
Ever After motion picture
Guard: Henry, you promised.
Henry: I know... I lied.
Henry: You claimed it was a matter of life and death.
Leonardo: A woman always is.
Danielle: A servant is not a thief, your highness, and those who are cannot help themselves.
Henry: Really? Well, then, by all means...enlighten us.
Danielle: If you suffer your people to be ill-educated and their manners' corrupted from infancy and then punish them for those crimes to which they're first education disposed them...what is to be concluded, sire, but that you first make thieves and then punish them?
Danielle: I gather you do not converse with many peasants?
Henry: Certainly not, no. Naturally.
Danielle: 'Scuse me, sire, but there is nothing natural about it. A country's character is defined by it's everyday "rustics" as you call them. They are the legs you stand on and that position demands respect, not--
Henry: Am I to understand you find me arrogant?
Danielle: Well, you gave one man back his life, but did you even glance at the others?
Francis: You will marry Gabriella by the next full moon or I will strike at you in any way I can.
Henry: Whats it to be, father, hot oil or the rack?
Francis: I will simply...deny you the crown and...live forever!
Henry: Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?
Leonardo: As a matter of fact, I do.
Henry: Well, then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? Then what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears or--or--or she does...but you're too distracted to notice?
Leonardo: Then pay attention.
Henry: Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another...but one of them gets hit by lightning. Well, then what? Is that it? Or per chance, you meet someone new and marry all over again, is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side, were they were both the one for you, and you just happened to meet the first one first or...was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or were some things meant to be?
Leonardo: You cannot leave everything to Fate, boy. She's got a lot to do. Sometimes you must give her a hand.
Henry: I'm afraid, mademoiselle, that you are a walking contradiction and I find that rather...fascinating.
Danielle: Me?
Henry: Yes...you. You spout the ideals of a utopian society and yet you live the life of a courtier.
Danielle: And you own all the land there is and yet you take no pride in working it. Is that not also a contradiction?
Henry: Well, first I'm arrogant and now I have no pride. However do I manage that?
Danielle: You have everything and still the world holds no joy. And yet, you insist on making fun of those who would see it for its possibilities.
Henry: How do you do it?
Danielle: What?
Henry: Live each day with this kind of passion? Don't you find it exhausting?
Danielle: Only when I'm around you. ...Why do like to irritate me so?
Henry: Why do you rise to the occasion?
Danielle: I am sorry, my mouth has run away with me again.
Henry: No, m'lady. It is your mouth that has me hypnotized.
Danielle: A bird may love a fish, seignore, but where would they live?
Leonardo: Then I shall have to make you wings.
Henry: You build flying machines and you walk on water, and yet you know nothing about life.
Leonardo: I know that a life without love is no life at all.
Henry: And love without trust? What of that?
Leonardo: She's your match, Henry.
Henry: I am but a servant to my crown and I have made my decision. I will not yield!
Leonardo: ...Then you don't deserve her.
Danielle: Was there a time, even in its smallest measurement, that you loved me at all?
Rodmilla: How can anyone love a pebble in their shoe?
Danielle: You, sir, are supposed to be charming.
Henry: And we, Princess, are supposed to live happily ever after.
Danielle: Says who?
Henry: You know...I don't know.
Legally Blonde motion picture
Elle: Did you see him? I bet he's still scratching his head!
Paulette: Yeah, must be a nice vacation for his balls.
Elle: I just don't think Brooke could have done this. Exercists give you endorphines. Endorphines make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands.
Memento motion picture
Natalie: Are you sure you want this?
Leonard: Have I told you what this man did?
Natalie: Yeah.
Leonard: Well, then, you shouldn't have to ask.
Natalie: But even if you get revenge, you're not gonna remember it. You're not even gonna know that it happened.
Leonard: My wife deserves vengeance. Doesn't make any different whether I know about it. Just because there are things I don't remember, doesn't make my actions meaningless. The world doesn't just disappear when you close your eyes, does it?
Leonard: I don't even know how long she's been gone. It's like I've woken up in bed and she's not here...because she's gone to the bathroom or something. But somehow, I just -- I know she's never gonna come back to bed. If I could just reach over...and touch her side of the bed...I would know that it was cold. But I can't. I know I can't have her back. But I don't wanna wake up in the morning thinking she's still here. ...I lie here not knowing how long I've been alone. So how -- how can I heal? How am I supposed to heal if I can't...feel time?
Leonard: Probably tried this before... Probably burned truckloads of your stuff... Can't remember to forget you...
Leonard: I have to believe in a world outside my mind. I have to believe that my actions still have meaning...even if I can't remember them. I have to believe that when my eyes are close, the world's still here. ...Do I believe the world's still here? Is it still out there? ...Yeah. ...We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I'm no different.
Notting Hill motion picture
Anna: I've always loved that painting. It just feels like how love should be... Floating through the air...
William: Yes. With a goat playing the violin.
Anna: (grin) Of course. Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat.
Anna: The fame thing... It isn't real. I'm just a girl...standing in front of a boy...asking him to love her.
Payback motion picture
Hooker: I've got a few minutes...
Porter: So go boil an egg.
Porter: Crooked cops... Do they come any other way? If I'd been just a little dumber, I coulda joined the force, myself.
Porter: When I came back, I came back here with nothing. No life, no hope... You were the only good thing in my life that hadn't been taken from me. I couldn't stay away... I had to see you just to make sure I wasn't in hell.
Practical Magic motion picture
Gillian: Do you ever put your arms out and spin and spin and spin really, really fast? Well, that's what love is like. It makes your heart race, it turns the world upside down. But if you're not careful...if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance...y'know? You can't see what's happening to the people around you. You can't see that you're about to fall.
Garry: You're saying what I'm feeling is just one of your spells?
Sally: Yeah, it's not real. And if you stay, I wouldn't know if it's because of the spell and you wouldn't know if it's because I didn't want to go to prison.
Garry: Yeah, well...all relationships have problems.
Sally: What would you do, Gilly?
Gillian: What wouldn't I do...for the right guy?
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves motion picture
Duncan: He fancies you, m'lady. I am blind, but some things, I can still see.
Azim: I once heard a wise man say, "There are no perfect men in this world... Only perfect intentions."
The Order motion picture
Librarian: Sometimes, when you look into the abyss, the abyss looks back into you...
Eden: Every fear has a wish.
Eden: The terrible thing about the truth is that, sometimes, you find it.
Eden: I'm all that remains when everything else turns to dust...
The Bridges of Madison County novel
Author: Robert James Waller
Robert: I scribbled something in my notebook the other day for future use, just had the idea while driving along; that happens a lot. It goes like this: "The old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but I'm glad I had them." I'm not sure what that means, but I'll use it somewhere.
- And she would begin to turn in her mind, breathing heavier, letting him take her where he lived, and he lived in strange, haunted places, far back along the stems of Darwin's logic.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix novel
Author: J.K. Rowling
Dumbledore: Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human --.
Harry: THEN - I - DON'T - WANT - TO - BE - HUMAN!
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