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Our Hysterical History

 
Hey!  'Nutha new page.  I'm just gonna write up some funny memories 'tween my friends and I.  It's kinda like an entire page dedicated to all of my friends!  ...Yeah, pretty much. lol

Katey-Doll:
 
1. "Foo-king ass-ole"
2. "She's his plant!"
3. *bounces hands up in air twice* "Ta-toonk!" (bus-runs-over-body sound and motion effects)
4. *ding* "Ayyyyyyyyyye!!" *ding*ding* "Hosti tabarnac de christ de callise d'hosti...  Arrête de--" *ding*ding*ding*ding* "Grrrrrrrr!"
5. "Huzzo!" & "Gleence!"
6. Smiley-face-itis!
7. "Hohoho!" *bitchslap*
8. "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"
9. It's an inside-outside joke!
10. Mmm...Sour Puss...  Mmm...Goldschlager... Just plain "Mmm...Alcohol."
11. NINOUNE!
12. Ce n'est pas croyable!!  ...C'est a dire... incroyable.
13. Que hora es?
14. "COME HERE, YOU FUCKIN' BEES!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *sprays frantically with hairspray!*
15. "Does your brother play the zeegar, Kelly?"
16. "Are those plastic?"
17. "I was laaaaaauuuuuuuughing!"
18. Shopping carts that drive like a car...on their own. *winces*
19. "Can I have a lick of your lollipop?" "No." "Please?" "No." "Aw, pleeeeaaaase!?" "No! I don't want your slut germs on it."
20. Always watch The Exorcist after drinking two glasses of Bailey's, Kahlua, and Butter Ripple Schnapps, and make sure your blanky and teddy bear are on hand!  *That was some SCARY shit!*
21. "I steal from the rich and give to the needy... *all together, now!!* I take a wee percentage, but I'm not quite greedy!"
22. "If you were to swallow soap, would you burp bubbles?"
23. "*gasp* BUBBLLLLLLLLES!!!!!!! *evil glare* My bubbles!"
24. "And in the morning... I'm making waffles!"
25. "Snapple Apple has a great apple flavour.  Snapple Apple! It's a flavour you'll savour! Snapple Apple tastes crisp and sweet.  It goes great with foul, fish or meat.  It's so good, rock stars demand it when they play, along with a guru and a gold bedet.  It even breaks the ice with girls for my friend Zack.  He says, 'Try some snapple apple while I rub your back.' Snapple apple! Thanks!"
26. "Stoooopppp iiiiiit!"
27. "IDAHO!"
28. "SPEED-BUMP!"
29. "I'm sorry...I dropped the apple juice...I have to clean it up, now...." "Kat, it's cool, it's clean.  It's all good."  "No...it's not clean.  It's not clean... It's not...  Huh?"
30. "My glass keeps filling itself up!"
31. "*GASP* Allie!!  I called Steve!!"
32. "Allie, Katherine is sitting next to me right now, staring at nothing!"
33. "What are you doing, Kat?" "I haven't tried on my bras all day." "Okay...  Kat, what are you doing?" "I'm getting into my pyjamas." "Oh...okay."
34. "EEK!  A spider!!" "Kelly, it's a fly." "...Oh." "*click* Kelly's first halucination!"
35. "I'm hungry..." "I have candy." "Ooh...Candy."
36. *the next morning* "I ATE ALL THE CANDY?" "Hey, munchies are powerful buggers."
37. "And when you guys leave, remember there's a step there..." "Okay...*boom*" "Katherine...already forgot?"
38. "Oh my God.  Okay, no. No more laughing.  haha... No, can't...hahaha...  Can't laugh anymore... hahaha.  It makes me sick...haha"
39. "Ooh...  I put Katherine Prem in the search, and it gave me something!!  Here, I'll put Kelly Bonetto now!"
40. "SUPER CRAZY FUNNESS!"
 
 
The Many Dreams of Katherine Prem:
 
1. "No, Laura!  NO!  You can't take the pillow!  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
2. "Ha haaaaaa.  I toooooooold you not to eat that ice cream.  I toooooooold you.  I tooooooold you."
3. Classmate: "Katherine, what did you get in Biology"
   Katherine: "Biology?"
   Teacher:   "Katherine, stop talking!  ...Sit up straight!  Sit up straight!"
   Katherine: "But I am sitting up straight."
   Teacher:   "Sit up straight!"
   Katherine: "I AM sitting up straight."
4. "Hehehehe...HA HA HA HA HA!!!!  ...Funny monkey."
 
 
 
Emma-Leigh:
 
1. Ssssuper (enter word here)
2. Ah, no. I'm sorry. J-j-just...just no, I'm sorry, no.
3(and a half, hehe). What's that all a-boot, eh? C'mon, let's go put on our *gigantaristicist* winter coats and watch hockey.  'Cause Canada rocks, eh?
4. SURE IS!  ...or, y'know, "SURE (enter word here)"
5. -ness words, -ism words, -istic words, -iosity words...TO THE MAX!
6. Fuzzy cockles!
7. Jus, dud! Yeah, n s'm buz, dud! (what?) Buz. (WHAT?) BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ, DUD! Ooh, wit'a sud a bubs, t', dud.  *grrrr*
 Translation: Juice, dude.  Yeah, and some booze, dude. Booze.  BOOOOOOOOOZE, DUDE!  Ooh, with a side of boobs, too, dude. *grrrr*  (the boobs thing is nothing dirty, people, get your mind outta the gutter!)
8. Dude, ou est mon voi-tor?
9. Tramampompoline!!
10. Up shut!
11. Emma-Leigh and Kellykins! :?
12. *Iiiii checkmate yoooouuuu."  One day, I'll beat you at Pente...again.  You'll see.  You just wait...
13. "I'm Bob." "Hey, no you're not... You're Jebus!" "Oh, yeah, YOU'RE Bob..." "Damned straight, Jebus." "Aw, up shut, Bob!"
14. NARF!
15. (ish)
16. Words don't go sideways...they go down!
17. This school has gone to hell...  In a handbasket.  ...A badly...woven....handbasket.  ...Terrible!!
18. Up it shut!
19. It's synonomonomononous. Synonomononous.  ...Dammit!
20. Em: I'm getting married!
    Kel: OOH, can I be the maid of honour?
    Em: *meanly* No... I already promised that to Melanie.
    Kel: *sniff* Okay...
21. Em: We were watching this Salon Marions-Nous thing...
    Kel: *imitating:* Room, marry us!
    Em: *...sigh*
22. "Mr Holm, what's foreplay?" "It's kissing and touching before sex."
23. Kel: *sneaks up behind Emilie as she turns around* No, dammit! Turn back around!! *Emilie turns, Kelly places hands over her eyes from behind.* Guuueeessssss whooooo?
    Em: ...Caitlin?
24. Kel: Ooh!! That's so cool! I should put my name to Cronic Kel...except I'll make it CroniKel like chronicle!
    Em: ...There's an h in chronic, Kel.
    Kel: ...I knew that.
25. I like it! I like it a llllot!
26. Kel: That's it, I'm dyslexic!
    Em: Oh, I'll help you.  ...Wait, I can't find the number for that reading place.  Oh, well, learn on your own!
    Kel: Easy for you to say, Miss Icanread.
    Em: I'm sorry, Miss Illiterate.
    Kel: *GASP* Bitch!
    Em: I'm sorry, is that word too long for you?
    Kel: ...Yes.
27. Kel: UP IT SHUT, BE-ACH!
    Em: Who you think you callin' be-atch?
    Kel: ...You?
    Em: Um, no, I think not.
    Kel: Um, yes, I think so.  Because I think you're being SSSSSSSSSSSSUPER mean!
    Em: FO SHO!
-->We're so gonna get shot for that, Emilie, lol.
28. Christine is a slow, bad girl. ...Wow, that really sounds dirty.
29. Em: Like, duh, Kelly.  Are you turning into a blonde?
    Kel: Er? Teh are? The* are? As opposed to the a? ...HUH? lol
    Em: You are turning into a blonde?  KELLY!!! COME BACK TO ME!!! KELLY, DON'T DIE ON ME!!! CLEAR!!!
    Kel: HA! It's FUNNY 'cause you're a blonde who's making fun of herself without realizing it!!!
30. heeeeeeere's JOHNNY!
31. AHHHHHHHHH! DR. PHIL!! *runs to corner of room to hide* ... *buries face in knees and rocks back and forth* ... *humming*
32. Kel: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
    Em: Finally, I missed you so!
    Kel: I knew you would.
    Em: Yeah, of course, you're irresistible and you know it.
    Kel: I know.
    Em: I knew you did.  I mean, how could you not?
    Kel: I know.  It's like, I'm BOUND to pass by a mirror every day.  And if I'm lucky, sometimes, it's a full length and I get to check out my ass.
33. Kel: Damn straight. This is hot shit. *licks finger and makes sizzling sound while placing it on her ass.*
    Em: Sure is. *backs away in case you burst into flames.* ... *hot flames* ... *hot and sexy flames*
34. Em: You know I'm right, Kelly.  Don't deny it.
    Kel: ...Okay.
35. Em: I think I know what you mean paskrhg.  ...Oops, sorry.  I sneezed and hit a bunch of keys.  It was supposed to be "though". ...That's really sad.  Check if you can see it...
36. Kel: *cough*dumbass*cough*  ...That just doesn't work on the Internet.  'Cause the word is TOTALLY visible.
    Em: I know. Who do these people take us for?
    Kel: ...Dumbasses?
37. Em: I wanted to write a poem about each of my friends. ...Which, obviously, includes you!
    Kel: *tsk* Silly! I'm not your friend!
38. Em: Yay! I can't wait to see it! By then, you'll have more to write. *Kelly's like: Emilie, will you please shut up.* Well, you know what? NO! I WILL NOT!
    Kel: ...You just had a whole conversation between me and you without me ever having to actually speak. ...Sad.
39. Kel: It's like red and green.  Two really nice colours, but in the end, when you mix 'em together...they make brown.
    Em: They also make Christmas!
40. Em: HE THREW PUDDING IN MY HAIR!
    Kelly's voice inside her head: Lick iiiiiitttttt!
41. Hypothesez.  Hypothesyzes.  Hypothesaysez?  Hypothesess.  Hypothe-overseas!
42. Em: I'm a pathological liar.
    Kel: Really? Well...if you told me that, maybe you're lying! Which would...therein...make you a pathocological liar!
    Em: I can't even say pathocological.
    Kel: *GASP* You LIE! You just SAID it!
43. Kel: Why is the line so early so short?
    Em: Maybe because they're fed up of the caf's food.
    Kel: Or maybe, they pump the food with rat poison and the people are slowly dying off, one by one and we're none the wiser so it seems as though the line is shorter because people are fed up of the food, but REALLY, they're all dead!  And we all keep eating the food and we're going to die, too!!
    Em: Jees, Kelly.  Thanks for the fries.
44. Kel: cuz i want ryan and marissa to be together and they arent yet and i wanted to know when and omg theres no punctuation in this sentence
45. Kel: *stands up in a room with people sitting on benches in a circle* "Hi... My name is Kelly... And I'm addicted to television." *room replies: "Hi, Kelly."*
    Em: *whispers* Psst, Kelly...  Is there really anyone else in the room?
46. Kel: Alex, quit talking about yourself in the third person!
    Em: Yeah!
    Kel: Actually...it would be the fourth person, wouldn't it? 'Cause, you know... There's me, you, her...and her again?
    Em: Um... No, Kelly... Third person as in "third person, singular."
    Kel: Oh. Heh. I knew that... *cough*
47. "MAN alive!" "WOMAN dead!"
 
 
 
Queenie:
 
1. "One Woman's Manifesto" by Paula Tissot... Paula's sarcastic ways, Yucca idiotic ways... It was so us. lol!  Paula Tissot and Cora Sue "Yucca" Concklin 4 ever!
2. FISH STICK!
3. GOAT'S MILK!
4. CHICKEN NUGGET!
5. PORKCHOP!
6. Doctor Mel and Patch Kelly *why, is there a hole in me?* (AKA Doctor Funny!)
7. ER... ER... *cough* EAR... . o O (what the?) O o . ...*cough*hack*cough* ARRRRRRRR! (PIRATE BUDDIES!)
8. "I'm shuttup up now" *No Dr. Mel!  The pills are for the patients!!*
9. Kel: "Yeah, so, ever see The Queen of the Damned?"
   Mel: "You mean my sister? ...All the time."
10. "I like the music, too!!  Doesn't it just speak to you?"
11. "If I'm slow on the uptake...am I quick on the downtake?"
12. *Mel hands Kel a Puffs w/ Lotion*
    Kel: "Well, that wipes away the tears, but does it wipe away the pain?"
    Mel: "Maybe not..." *Mel hands Kel chocolate* "But this will!!"
13. And the world is smaller by 1/4 ...*ahem*... 3 inches.
14. "'Thing'. It can fit in anywhere thing. ...Well...almost."
15. "Who's that, behind you, brandishing a butter knife?  Not Bob, that's for sure!!
 
--VOTE BOB!"
16. Mel: "MAYBE you should go SKYDIVING!!"
    Kel: "Meh... I'll just talk to him about it..."
    Mel: "May the force be with you, Kelly Skydiver."
    Kel: "And also with you. Amen."
17. "We're Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen! ...Only in brunette tag form! With a Gilmore Girl Lane/Rory splash somewhere in there!"
18. Mel: "Cordelia kind of annoys me actually.  But, y'know, I annoy myself so what does that say?"
19. "Happy Birthday, Kelly!!!" *hands Patch a video cassette* "Um...what the fuck is this?  A blank tape?  What, you couldn't spring for an actual movie?  THEY'RE 5 BUCKS AT BLOCKBUSTER!!!  What the fuck is this shit??  GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! Don't even DARE wishing me a happy birthday!!! YOU RUINED IT!!!" *throws tape on ground and jumps n it*  "Um...Kelly..."  "WHAT?????" "...That was...Boy Meets World.  ...Remember?"  "...Oh." *slowly bends down and awkwardly tries to piece back together broken tape*
20. Mel: *shakes head* "Patch... Did you forget your medicine today?"
    Kel: "I think that psycho doctor slipped some horse tranquilizers in it.  Melanie something or other...  Crazy bitch.  Horse tranquilizers this, horse tranquilizers that..."
21. Mel: "Ooh, aren't we intelligated!  Or intelligent... Wait, EDUCATED! That's the one!! *Kelly adds words to her personal dictionary of nonsense.*"
    Kel: "Actually, it's more like 'The Book of Melanie's Drug Induced Lingo.'"
22. "If he sincerely cares about you, he won't listen to you!!"
23. Kel: "Hold on a sex."
    Mel: "Ooh, Kelly, what's on your mind?"
    Kel: "Stupid keyboard!  Honestly, who the hell thought of putting the X next to the C?  What is this crap?"
*later that evening*
    Mel: "K, hold on a sex.  ...Woops. Hehehe."
    Kel: "Ya see??  Ya see what I mean?  Fuckin' geniuses..."
24. Kiki Noname and Mimi Cantsay!
25. Hydrotropism... *looks at bottle of water on desk* "...How you do-en'?" *wink*
26. Hehehe...Melanie - L = Meanie. ...MEANIE!!
27. Kel: I think I'm going to change my title of my diary to 'ChroniKels of Hell'...  I'm debating. *puts on thinking cap*
    Mel: *points and laughs cuz Kelly takes off her thinking cap and has hat hair.*
    Kel: *and still no answer...cuz she broke the damned thing...WITH HER HUGE BRAIN! BOOYA!*
28. Mel: Haha! I ruined it! Mwahahaha! *I rained on Kelly parade* Mwahahaha
    Kel: ...THERE'S A KELLY PARADE???? :D :D
29. Kel: You're just laughing to make me feel better, aren't you?  It's okay... Admit it.
    Mel: Okay. You're right. You're a loser too.
    Kel: *sigh* It's true... BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT!
    Mel: BUT NOW THERE ARE TWO LOSERS AND WE'RE NOT LOSERS ANYMORE!!!  ...Except that I don't like you and won't be your friend.  So fuck off.
    Kel: But...I CALL "DUMPING YOU"AGE FIRST!!! Like dibs, only it makes YOU the loser FIRST!
    Mel: You JUST lost me like JUST JUST like FIFTEEN minues atgo.
        minues atgo*
        *MINUTES AGO!!
30. "Thanky!" "...Welcky?"
 
 
 
Christine:
 
1. toddles!
2. Kelly: "No one's normal.  We're all fucked up, somehow, some way.  I mean, look at JFK.  He done got himself shot!  He musta done SOMETHING fucked up to get himself shot, hence making him a fucked up person!  I mean, honestly, what normal person goes and gets himself shot?"
   Christine: "Wait, who the hell is JFK?  The dude who founded Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
3. "CURSES!"
4. "He's not monkey-ish enough to get into Le Skratch.  ...Or he's too monkey-ish.  ...Wait. If that's so, then shouldn't they both cancel each other thereby making him just monkey-ish enough? *sigh*"
5. Christine: "I have dislexia!"
   Kelly: "Whoa... you can read minds?"
6. How it should be: hahahahahahaha
   How Christine does it: hhahahaahhaahhaahaha
7. Kelly: "Yup... Karma's a bitch."
   Christine: "Really?  Do I know her?  Is she pretty?"
8. PEEL BUG!
9. "People with small heads aren't photogenic."

Hey, I have a hard time remembering everything that has happened between me and some people, at least when I try hard to! lol  So if I happened to forget something, PLEASE!!  Lemme know!